This post is about my personal experience and journey. It’s about a transformation I had a decade ago and the impact that has had in the subsequent years. It is why I mark this February as special for me in the world of philosophy and transformation, as it marks ten years since I effectively stopped having bad days. This cessation did not arrive by magic; it came from intent, from learning/training, from coaching, and from me doing work towards it. And ultimately came from friends who were willing to stand in the face of my resistance, arguments, righteousness, and stonewalling. Their contribution is what let me get it.
Once I got it, though…
For one, life didn’t stop life-ing all over me, and things I wouldn’t want still came my way: romantic breakups, car accidents, mistakes, unexpected large expenses, cancelled projects, a house water break and repair that had me have to live in a hotel for six months, work clashes, intense deadlines, thyroid implosion, high strung clients, broken items, all the things that are part of my life were still there and still came on strong and fast. Harsh, strong, and fast.
I define a “bad day” as a day that ends, or that I spent a significant portion of the day, upset, frustrated, or disempowered. I probably have a pretty high tolerance for what constitutes a bad day, given how I was being that decade ago (I know the depths to which I can take the idea of a bad day!)… and no matter.
For me the best part of all this is the experience of the every/ordinary day, not having the icky sensations and that feeling comes when I am mired in a bad day/etc. I need not fight back against my circumstances, and they do not drive me as much as they used to. Every day doesn’t end with angels singing, nor do I expect it to. But at the end of the day, I am OK, clear, and complete. I have peace of mind.
And because I am not low, when something interesting/unusual/exciting/fun/etc happens, it is that much sweeter.
It took three months of coaching and training to lay the foundation, including weekend workshops and those friends willing to be a stand for me and willing to reflect me and coach me. And I was slower than most at grokking it. And it is eminently grokkable. Living crammed in a hotel room for six months while dealing with a large house repair (atop my other commitments) could have been horrible for me, and likely would have been a decade ago. My thyroid thing can really play havoc on my moods. That I can now stand in the face of those and enjoy things and keep a high quality of my everyday life, facing things with peace of mind, is something I am so thrilled about.
If you ever wonder why I’m so (overly) excited about philosophy, ontology, transformation, and possibility, this is a big, big reason why.
Thank you for reading and indulging my celebration and trip down memory lane. And thank you to everyone who has stood for me all these years. It is upon your shoulders that my transformation was possible.