Sometimes there just is no answer
for all our want to influence or control
all we know or think we know
they don’t make a lick of difference
all we do or try to do
they don’t make the rules
things are not in our paws
there’s only the big die roll in the sky
and so we grieve
or at least pre-grieve
waiting and wondering
keeping vigil
from near or afar
reflecting
self-recriminations at the ready
thousands of what ifs and if onlys
laid out in front of us for analysis
not helping, but not avoidable
distracting us from the outcome
distracting us from the game
of being with
the sadness
the memories
the unknown
letting it flow through us
letting it honour the one
the departed
or the not yet departed
the space of limbo
the uncomfortable space of limbo
the hellish space of limbo
getting ready
as if we could ever be truly ready
for that which comes
reprieve (for now) or finality
we don’t know when the die will be rolled
so we breathe
and wait