This is a philosophical statement. It is intended to spark thinking and examining.
In a kind of continuation from last week’s post… given how poor we often are at noticing our patterns and biases and all those moments we hijack ourselves away from being effective at going after what we really want, what can we do in order to check in on ourselves? How can we pierce the veil?
One way is to ask another person what they see.
The other, is to explore following inquiry:
There’s who I proclaim myself to be, and what I say I am doing in life.
What do my actions say about what I’m ACTUALLY doing? What do my actions say about how I ACTUALLY am acting in the world?
Amazingly (or maybe not so amazingly) they don’t always match up.
It can be quite funny too, when we write down all the actions we’ve been taking and work our way backwards and ask, “if I saw these actions in a stranger, what would I say they are doing?”
“They are just trying to score points and be right. They are willing to be totally dismissive.” (Yet we thought we were being open and engaged)
“They are spending all their time gathering more information, and are really avoiding taking the hard actions needed.” (Yet we thought we were honestly pursuing love/a job/excellence)
“They are always annoyed, and are being fully righteous about it.” (Yet we thought we were being smart and aware)
“They are letting themselves get super distracted on the web.” (Yet we’ve been decrying we don’t have enough time in the day)
“They are always on edge, waiting for that person to do that thing so they can explode.” (Yet we said we were being loving)
Wherever we see a disconnect, there’s a chance for us to see, and grow.
Especially since most of the time these actions are automatic, completely on autopilot, showing up before we even realize it. They’re so familiar, they feel right. So we do it. Again and again. Even if it’s not what we want.
To break out, we can take an opportunity to look. Be present. Notice the disconnects.
Perhaps we’re not so committed to those things we’ve been saying. Maybe we don’t really want to finish that project, or we don’t really care about behaving a certain way. OK! Great to know this. Let’s reconsider things.
Or*, maybe we truly ARE committed to being a certain way, to uphold certain values, to comport ourselves in a way that speaks our most basic and deep convictions about what we all want in life. Maybe we truly ARE committed to those goals, those projects, those futures.
Either way, there’s some work to be done. We can do the work of setting aside and inventing anew, and following through by taking the actions that do speak to our central self and our authentic core.
And when our intentions, ways of being, and actions are all aligned, our lives begin to sing.
* More often than not, I’d wager…