There is great power in learning to “have” various states rather than “being” them.
Much in the same vein as the distinction between sadness and suffering, when we can be with and have our (often intense*) feelings, emotions, and even thoughts, rather than automatically thinking that they are “me” and thus automatically being them, new spaces open up:
Having fear rather than being afraid.
Having uncertainty rather than being paralyzed.
Having nervousness and butterflies and tingly legs rather than being anxious and spooked.**
Having annoyance and frustration rather than being angry and enraged.
Having guilt rather than being shameful.
Having envy rather than being hopeless.
It isn’t a matter of resisting or pretending they’re not there; again, much like the distinction between sadness and suffering, it’s a matter of taking ownership and honouring them and being with them. We are human, after all, and we humans have all those kind of things. And they can be downright useful things to have.
To have; not to be controlled by. Let them be, and peace of mind emerges. Choice rises. Everything steers away from suffering.
Let them be, and the authentic self can step to the fore, guiding things forward as we want them to be.
* …but even more powerful when we can notice and be with and own and have our subtle and background feelings, emotions, and especially thoughts (which are almost born from our calculating rather than authentic self) without immediately becoming them.
** I am very familiar with this before I go up on stage. So intense! Being with it all and essentially embracing it, as in, “I knew this was going to come, so hey, here it is!” is what gets me ready to go up and perform my heart out. (And, depending on where I am, I’ve also at times done strings of jump kicks and other drills to burn off the nervous energy…)