Ever gain an insight, create some new possibilities, choose to take a different path… and no one seems to notice? Or care? Or they seem “determined” to keep you hemmed in? Or even if you’re fine for a while, one little slip and it all comes back?
Not surprising, really. After all, we’d trained all those people to relate to us in a certain way, trained them on who we “are”. Even inadvertently – our identities sure are sneaky in that way. And so we’re trying to express something into a space that’s already filled. They already “know” us. (And maybe they already know of all the times previously that we tried to change things up, or made noises about shifting, that, like so many New Years Resolutions, survived for about 2.2 weeks before slipping right back…)
One of the least noted yet most powerful steps in possibility is in sharing. Letting those around us that hey, we’ve noticed something about ourselves! And it doesn’t work for us! And probably hasn’t been working for you! We need to clean up our past, step up and make those deep apologies, acknowledge what’s been so, how we’ve been, and then share what we’ve gotten. The realization, the insight, the rough stuff. And our new commitment. Because when we do so, we go from trying to inject our new self into an environment that is set up and expecting the same old same old and instead create an environment of people who are at least open to seeing something new and are more likely ready and even pulling for your new ways of being and acting. Instead of resistance, there is support.
And to further tie this into last week’s post, the “bad news” nature that accompanies so many of our insights totally can hamper us from sharing them. We look bad! Who wants to tell others about that? Wouldn’t it be better to just step into the new me and try to sweep it under the rug and hope no one noticed how things were before? Well, for one, spoiler alert… they noticed. They ALL noticed. For two, alas, it doesn’t work that way. We need to do the work.
We need to step up, own our lives and own our foibles, because only then can we also own our insight, own the transformation, and clear away a space into which we can express that something new.