What we really want is often hindered by “I can’t get/have it.”
So we focus on other things that are “not right.”
We fixate on all the wrongs,
As a way of surviving a world where “what I want is not possible.”
We blame, we martyr, we loathe.
And we take all those other things,
And make them part of our identity.
If we can’t get what we want,
Then we react to it,
Often in an angry or forceful or violent way.
We try to gain agency any way we can.
Assholism generally comes from feeling thwarted.