Philosophy Tuesday

It was just one of those days where I woke up being annoyed.

I didn’t know why, or about what, yet I was.  Grrrr.  Wrong side of the bed and all that.*  Just farking annoyed.

But it was a Saturday, and I wasn’t going to waste it or have it be ruined by being annoyed!  So I didn’t let myself be.  I ignored it.  I pushed it aside.  I resisted it.  When it welled up and I got growly, I growled it back down.

Soon after dinner, though, it was getting old.  A whole day of this!  What the heck?  So I swore and told myself, “Fine, you want to be annoyed?  Then go ahead, be annoyed!”

And in that moment, the annoyance completely, utterly, lifted and disappeared.

Then I got really upset!  “Come on … I’m finally ready to be annoyed and now I can’t be?  Gah!”

With the annoyance gone, though, that passed pretty quickly and I could only laugh.  I was so odd!  And as I sat in that oddness I got something for myself, that whole thing was a great example of the adage:

“Resistance equals persistence.“

I’d spent the whole day resisting the annoyance – I don’t want to be, it shouldn’t be, this is stupid, there’s no reason for it, not gonna let it get to me, etc. etc…  Yet to do that I had to keep creating the annoyance in order to have something to resist against.**

But when I listened to it, got present to it (in a mindfulness way), and let it be for what it was (I’m feeling annoyed) and what it wasn’t (everything else), then it disappeared.  Like I’d flipped a switch.  Being heard and known, it ceased to be.

And I had a most lovely evening after that.

 

* Though, at the time, I was living in a place where there was really only one way to get out of my bed, so…

**And it’s good to note too that I also didn’t just succumb or surrender to it.  That’s not the same as being present to it.