Posts Tagged ‘communication’

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Philosophy Tuesday

October 8, 2019

(Pairs nicely with the distinction between an expectation and a possibility…)

Image via Night Sky Games

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Philosophy Tuesday

September 18, 2018

Listening is a unique thing.

It is also very different thing than hearing.

Hearing is just hearing.  “I hear you” simply means you’ve noticed someone else trying to communicate to you.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re actually getting – or have gotten – the communication.

Listening is a deep art.  It is the ability to go beyond just the audio processing, and even more so to go beyond that little voice in your head that’s continually commenting on everything they’re saying.  Because listening more to the little voice commentary than to the actual speaker is definitively not actually listening.  Nor is that all too familiar grabbing on to that perfect little point you should say next as soon as they stop talking so there’s no point in what more they’re saying, you know what YOU want to say.

Listening goes beyond resisting.  Listening goes beyond judgement.

Listening is getting the communication, without adding or subtracting anything.

Truly deep listening gets all the communication including all the context that surrounds it.

Listening causes completion.  People who’ve been truly listened to don’t need to repeat themselves.

Listening creates dialogue.  People who’ve been truly listened to will often ask, “What do you think?”

Listening creates openings.  People who’ve been truly listened to find themselves grounded and ready to engage with “what’s next?”

When we are listened to, we feel connected.  Franticness wanes, exigency fades, and peacefulness arrives.

Once listened to, something new is possible.

Listening is a unique thing, an art that takes development and learning.

And it is an art most definitively worth attending to.

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Philosophy Tuesday

February 7, 2017

This is a philosophical statement.  It is intended to spark thinking and examining.

It also comes this week in the form of a comic:

Anyone who says they are great at communicating

but “people are bad at listening”

is confused at how communication works

XKCD

I like this… besides being cute, I find it a wonderful little reminder of how blame and dumping can hinder what we’re out to do and what we want.  Of how easy it is to slough it off onto other people, make up a story of how come they’re the reason we’re ineffective, how bad they are, and in the process feel that delicious jolt of righteous juice.  All that to hide our disappointment in not being able to connect and reach and communicate.

Communication is so much at the core of who we are as human beings that when we are thwarted it can hurt and be uncomfortable in ways that almost defy not only description but also perception.  It’s so pervasive we don’t even notice it anymore, yet we are more than willing to dump our agency and fire off the blame cannon to salvage ourselves from that feeling. But we can take on being fully responsible (not blame!) for how a communication goes.  We may have to adapt, it may take longer, we may have to stretch ourselves in new ways – we may even have to learn (gasp!) to listen – but there’s never-ending possibility inside of taking responsibility.  If we truly want to communicate (and we do), if we truly want to align ourselves towards the future(s) we want (and we do here too), then we get to take it on.

And while that sounds super serious, nothing says we can’t have fun while we do it…