Posts Tagged ‘possibility’

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Philosophy Tuesday

January 29, 2019

As noted before, we are not rational, but rationalizing creatures.  Pretty much everything we do in our lives makes sense to us within some sort of internal logic.*

So here’s the thing.

If someone is exhibiting behaviour that you do not understand, it is because you are missing a part of their context.

If you are exhibiting unproductive behaviour, and can’t seem to reign it in, it is because you are missing a part of your context.

Said another way, in both cases there is context that is hidden from your view.

When confronted by this, it is most helpful to respond to a person’s – including your own – ineffective behaviour with curiosity, rather than judgement.

There are always barriers.  We all have them.  They all arise inside of our own, personal, context.**  And those barriers hem us in, keeping us being and acting within their narrow confines.

Recognizing those barriers – and viewing them as legitimate – is often the first step to breaking lazy or unproductive behaviour patterns.

With others, you can listen, extend empathy, and, without blame or shame, seek to speak and engage constructively.

With yourself, you can work to unconceal what’s there, discover your hidden stories, and, without blame or shame, transform them.

And, altogether, grant great realms of freedom and choice.

 

* Logic that can, of course, be quite easily, and often most definitively is, twisted or incoherent or be full of blind spots and even hypocrisy.  Cognitive dissonance is powerfully obfuscating indeed.  Still, at least on a superficial “answer off the cuff” level, it really does makes sense to us.  It feels right and fine.

** Even though, for the most part, we didn’t consciously and deliberately choose or design many of our contexts

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Philosophy Tuesday

January 22, 2019

“But mostly we just walked in companionable silence.  Which I think might be the meaning of life.  To be alongside people you love, fording the streams and climbing the hills together.”

John Green

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Philosophy Tuesday

January 15, 2019

There were many things that were amazing about my Sifu.  I learned so very much from him.  One of which he never taught me directly… he was simply an embodiment of it.

Sifu loved Kung Fu.  That may seem like an unnecessary statement – of course Sifu loved Kung Fu, you’d think.  After all, he practiced it diligently for so many years.  But this is not just some matter-of-fact thing.  Sifu loved Kung Fu for its own sake.  When Sifu practiced, he practiced because of that simple enjoyment.  There was no “in order to” behind it.

And that was the great insight, lesson, and wisdom he demonstrated.

Often times in our lives we take on something, practice something, or do something “in order to” accomplish, have, possess, or gain something else.  We don’t do it just for the pleasure, satisfaction, or pure difference it might make in the world.  We do it “in order to” get that other thing.

We train martial arts in order to feel manly or not scared.

We run marathons in order to look sexy and have something impressive to tell others.

We take a job in order to make money*, because we want money in order to feel powerful.

We buy something in order to distract us.

We like a particular band to fit in socially

We seek conflict in order to avoid loneliness.

Sometimes we undertake things because of some perceived flaw in ourselves.  Other times, we may not even be aware of the hidden purpose,**  the “in order to” remaining hidden from our view.  “I like it!” we think.  “It’s just what’s needed,” we add.  “I have no choice,” we finalize.

While these “in order to”s can be great motivators, pushing us with an intensity and persistence in our pursuit of that goal, they also rob us.  Rob us of freedom, rob us of satisfaction, rob us of joy.  Rob us of the experience of the moment.  And, most ironically (though you can probably guess), they also rob us of our performance.  They get in the very way of the thing we’re trying to get.  If anything starts to slip, we become frantic.  Small or large, any panic will stunt our game.

When we set aside our “in order to”s, new levels of growth and delight are available.  When we practice, do, or take on something for its own sake, we free ourselves to play and dance.  What we do becomes a self-expression, leaving us energized and fulfilled.

And In that space, we love it.

 

* As distinct from earning a living.

** Or we don’t want to admit it to ourselves…

 

 

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Philosophy Tuesday

January 8, 2019

“If we come here and say, “Well, I didn’t intend to cause global warming on the way here,” and we say, “That’s not part of my plan,” then we realize it’s part of our de facto plan, because it’s the thing that’s happening because we have no other plan.”

— William McDonough

I love this quote for how well it ties back into the notion of systems and the path of least resistance.

When we don’t make a plan, the system makes one for us.  And the easiest is to just do what the system says to do.  Because to us it feels like that’s just how things are; we’re surrounded by it.  Its reality.  And so we punch our ticket and get swept along.

That system, though, may itself have never been planned, and rather came together by either accident, happenstance, or, often, by the messy collision of several other (perhaps/likely themselves unplanned) systems.  It’s system-ception – systems begetting systems begetting systems.

Everything we do has an outcome, a result.  And when our de facto plan spits out outcomes, whether personal or global, that aren’t as fulfilling a result as we’d like, we can be very accurate when we note that it was unintentional.  Because they’re the result of actions taken with literally no intention – just automatic engagement.  We’ve slipped into the path of least resistance.

Oops!

But our systems are just systems.  Unlike the properties of physics, they don’t have a force in reality.  They may have arrived by happenstance, but we can tweak them.  Replace them.  Transform them.  We needn’t get caught up in blame or shame or fault.  We can step up with intention, create from first principles, and be mindful of and design towards all the desired outcomes.

Until our de facto plans line up with our intended ones.

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Philosophy Tuesday

January 1, 2019

You are whole and complete

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You always have been

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And you always will be

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You may not experience it

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And you may sometimes take actions that don’t reflect it

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But it doesn’t change the truth of who and what you are

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There are just barriers to your experiencing it

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Welcome to the New Year

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Whole and Complete

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Philosophy Tuesday

December 18, 2018

Delivered tonight in comic form from Abstruse Goose… all about looking good, avoiding looking bad, and the constructs that surround and trap us:

(Want more dancing?  Follow here…)

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Philosophy Tuesday

December 11, 2018

There is great power in learning to “have” various states rather than “being” them.

Much in the same vein as the distinction between sadness and suffering, when we can be with and have our (often intense*)  feelings, emotions, and even thoughts, rather than automatically thinking that they are “me” and thus automatically being them, new spaces open up:

Having fear rather than being afraid.

Having uncertainty rather than being paralyzed.

Having nervousness and butterflies and tingly legs rather than being anxious and spooked.**

Having annoyance and frustration rather than being angry and enraged.

Having guilt rather than being shameful.

Having envy rather than being hopeless.

It isn’t a matter of resisting or pretending they’re not there; again, much like the distinction between sadness and suffering, it’s a matter of taking ownership and honouring them and being with them.  We are human, after all, and we humans have all those kind of things.  And they can be downright useful things to have.

To have; not to be controlled by.  Let them be, and peace of mind emerges.  Choice rises.  Everything steers away from suffering.

Let them be, and the authentic self can step to the fore, guiding things forward as we want them to be.

 

* …but even more powerful when we can notice and be with and own and have our subtle and background feelings, emotions, and especially thoughts (which are almost born from our calculating rather than authentic self) without immediately becoming them.

** I am very familiar with this before I go up on stage.  So intense!  Being with it all and essentially embracing it, as in, “I knew this was going to come, so hey, here it is!” is what gets me ready to go up and perform my heart out.  (And, depending on where I am, I’ve also at times done strings of jump kicks and other drills to burn off the nervous energy…)